so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
