I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
