so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize