You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
