oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
