I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The struggles of a small town man whore
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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