i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
