So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
