I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Damn victory sex feels great
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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