Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I could fuck to npr.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
