Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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