Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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