I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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