I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
