dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
