An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
