exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
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He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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