Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize