The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize