I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
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They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
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I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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