I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
