is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Why is there bacon in the couch?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize