you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
