i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
