I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
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I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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