I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
