So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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