Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
