guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
