It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
