Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you traded sex for a burrito?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
