My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
