i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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