i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
