You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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