If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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