Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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