So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I have fence marks all over my body
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
