she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
