idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
