Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she peed on how many people?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
