Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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