Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
