You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
