Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
