OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize