They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
