I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
