I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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