You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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