the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
