First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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