honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
