problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
