Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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