Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
