I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
