Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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