i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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