If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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