My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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