she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
