We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Holy sore nipples Batman
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
