I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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